The shame we harbor

In our unadulterated form, we are shameless beings. Our joyful innocence as we enter the world is usually infectious. But somewhere along the way, we can learn to be ashamed of the mistakes we make, and the ways that we are imperfect.

Being disorganized is a source of shame for many of us. We want to hide that we can't seem to keep our lives in order, and we feel jealous and resentful of others who seem to have a grip on everything.

Maybe we have again misplaced that tax letter or email. Maybe the house is a mess and laundry is piling up. Maybe we can't manage time to make deadlines or achieve the goals we set ourselves. We allow these things to erode our confidence. We use each disorganized moment to further shame ourselves, providing evidence that we are hopeless and will "never" get our shit together. We feel like we have not fully grown up and joined the rest of the adult world.

This is really where we need to just to start chipping away at organzing our stuff and ourselves, taking imperfect steps to get our house and administration in order. And not just once, but consistently, until it comes natural to be that way.

We may clean our inbox after six months of letting it grow out of control, but we can't walk away from it until six months from now. We must manicure our administration consistently, getting a better and better grip on the things that are making is feel shame. This is how we go from being disorganized to being organized. It's not a goal. It's a way of constantly being.

Shame is a killer. Tackle head on the things that make you feel shame by speaking them aloud and writing them down everyday. Figure out ways to solve your disorganization, perhaps hiring a coach to help you along. Having someone by your side can help you feel supported and accepted, and can help you find the best ways of getting yourself organized and in a place of empowerment.

Think about it, but not for too long. Just take action and realize that making an effort to solve the things that make you feel shame will give you a boost of confidence one accomplishment at a time. You don't have to solve it all in one day.

And don't forget to celebrate each little thing you do to start creating a new reality for yourself. This will reinforce your new behaviour and bring you some joy.

YOU DESERVE TO BE JOYFUL AND ORGANIZED. Take one small action, and then take another.